love? is it born to be controlled?

love... it is something complicated for us to understand.... but, when we are really in love, we can disolve that compication and experience the sweet moments with joy and happiness. but, what will happen when someone that you love is controlling your life? is that something that we can call as sweet memory? is it something that we can be proud of? when you don't understand what is love, you tend to try to fall into it, but, when you already fell into it, you tend to escape from it. why is this happening? it is crystal clear that you dun understand what is LOVE!!!~ is it?? but.... you don't know what had happened... just imagine, whenever you are planning to go out and have some fun or even release tension with your friends, you beloved one doesn't let you go.... not enough with that, he'll present himself at the shopping mall that you are planning to go and walk through the whole shopping mall just to make sure that you are not there. besides that, he will access to your phone account and check you account just to make sure who did you text or call... where is the freedom for you?? we want something call love to present in our live, but, we cannot lose our freedom too... if the one that we love keep on doing the things that he likes to control us from doing this and that, then, what else can we do? just entertain him and leave the entertainment for ourself behind and locked it in a room? like that??? it is soooo not true!!~ why must he control you when you didn't even tend to control him and chain him with you all the time.... my dear.... love is something to be shared.... not some sort of reason for you to control the one that you love.... if you ever use the reason "do you love me? if you do... then please.... promise me.... bla bla bka....".... that kind of reason shall not appear in the world of love..... you can't control someone's will, body and heart.... if you keep on doing that, you have to prepare to lose the one that you love... remember that~

maple

dark clouds cast a shadow over our hearts
i listen intently to the feelings that have long been silenced
distinct and clear
just like a beautiful landscape
that can only be clearly seen in one's memories
can a heart that has been throughly wounded continue to love me?
i tried hard to hold your cold hands
the tenderness in the past
is locked in time
all that's left are sadness that cannot be dispered
longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
i light the candle to warm this year end autumn
the aurora steals across the horizon
the north wind flits across the face that thinking of you
ashes from my burning heart falls like leaves
but i can never regain your familiar face again
longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
why must i recover them all before the winter arrives?
my love for you transcends all the time
two streams of tears that were shed for the autumn's end
let the love flood through
i just want you by my side
can a heart that has been throughly wounded continue to love me?
i tried hard to hold your cold hands
the tenderness in the past
is locked in time
all that's left are sadness that cannot be dispered
the lush mountainside forest
withers in the north wind
i sway the windchime gently
attempting to awaken this abandoned love
snowflakes have already covered the ground
fearing that the maple leaves outside the window are already frozen

UITM interview~

i was called for an interview at UITM... it was held on saturday, 8.30 am at shah alam... me and my dad started our journey to shah alam at 7.00 am... we reached there around 8.00 and we started to search for UITM, kampus seksyen 17.... there's lots of round a bout there... and, the worst part is.... no SIGNBOARD!!!~ thn, we reached UITM..... bt, there's no fakulti pendidikan there.... there was seksyen 2,3,4,5,6,7,8.... so, we have to go out again.... i even called the hot line to ask for diredtion.... i was late for my written test... so, i straight away went into the hall to sit for my written test... after an hour, i have to move to room LEC 301 for my interview... when i reached there, i saw many nervous and scared faces... so, i went in front to ask the admin there... he said my turn is no 10... so, i waited around half an hour..... when i walked into the room, i saw 2 interviewers sitting there... so, i put my certs on the table and went to take my sit... the interviewers asked me some simple questions.. such as, my biodata, my family background, why i want to take TESL... why i want to take the course at UITM but not at UPSI cuz my mum work there... and, they also asked me to talk about tanjong malim... haha XD the questions are simple.. but, i can't answer it that well cuz i'm nervous... haha XD after the interview, i had my breakfast and went back to tm~ haha XD

a day at kepong~

today, me, maryam and atifa had made a decision to fulfill our plan yesterday... because, we found that if we go after work, we won't be able to come back before night and most probably might not be able to get a train home.... eventually, we came back at night today.. haha XD same same only.... we get a train to kepong central around 10.30 am... reach there around 11 something to 12... thn we straight away get a cab to jusco... once we reached there, we went to tgv cinema... we thought of watching alice in wonderland... but, belum tayang lagi la movie tu kat situ... sengal!!!~ than, miss atifa she really wanted to watch niyang rapik... a malay ghost movie... err... show around 1.10pm... errr... finished around 2.30 like that lo... we went down to jusco to get some things.... maryam bought a new pair of shoes... after walk walk for a while.... we went to get some bread for our lunch.... hihi =) then, 4.30 we went to the cinema again to watch another movie which is percy jackson and the lightning thief.... it's an interesting movie.... =) after finished watching the movie, we, i mean me and ifa had to chase miss maryam syafiqha binti mohd sayuti who lead us to the cab and straight away to the ktm station... both of us had to run and we were so tired chasing her... but, still we did not manage to catch the train.... haiz~ buat penat je den lari~~ sengal la~~~ then we waited for the train... which does not take a long time... but, we had to wait around half an hour for the train from rawang to move.... made us sleepy in the train.... ifa hor... can sleep in the train all the way from rawang to tm... very geng!~ =D then umi fetched us from the ktm station... we reached home around 9.30 pm ++~ we had a fun day... i mean fun day chasing maryam and also watching both of the movies.... next time have to bring someone who can make maryam walk slower so that i won't be that tired because of chasing her all the time~~~ =p

Kuih Cornflake Madu~

tadi, semasa menjahit, saya dan maryam membuat keputusan untuk membuat kuih cornflake madu... selepas kelas, kami pun bergerak ke grand union untuk mendapatkan bahan-bahan yang diperlukan... selepas itu, kami berjalan ke medan selera untuk makan tengah hari... selepas itu, kami menuju ke rumah maryam... setelah berehat selama satu jam, kami pun memulakan operasi membuat kuih kami... haha XD inilah kali pertama kami membuat kuih sendiri tanpa ibu di sisi... hihi XD jadi, kami pun masaklah kesemua bahan yang diperlukan, iaitu 240 gm mentega, 1 cawan gula dan 10 sudu kecil madu... selepas kesemua bahan sebati, kami biarkannya seketika dan kami masukkan pula cornflack yang telah diramas.... selepas digaul dengan sebati, kami masukkan pula chocolate rice... dan kami pun bubuh la dalam bekas... sebagai perhiasan, kami letakkan chocolate chip di atasnya... hasilnya amat memberangsangkan... haha XD

wei khai's wedding.....

wei khai & siau zhen

~my family~

yesterday was my cousin brother, wei khai's wedding... it was fun... i got to know the way of chinese people married.... it's a tiring day.. slept late, woke up early in the morning... had breakfast, then went to my uncle's house..... they got yam cha ceremony that morning..... got pantang de wor... my cousin brother is a monkey... so, all the tigers cannot look at him while he step into the house with his bride... hmm.... so weird... and, there's lot's of tigers.... my uncle himself was a tiger... my dad, my aunties.... haha.... but nevermind la.... then the ceremony continues.... after that, we stayed at uncle's house until 11 something.... we went back grandma's house cuz she wanted to take something... and i changed my blur colour baju kurung to a blouse with blue colour jeans.... easier for me to walk... haha... then we went back to my unlce's house.... after half an hour, we went to smk yok bin's hall for the lunch.... we went there early.... i was pointed to take care of the lcd presentation that day... sooo tiring... everytime the photo presentation stops, i got to went in front to replay the thing.... i did it for almost 3 hours..... while eating, i have to stop and ran in front just to replay the thing.... HUH! tired... then the food... too many for 5 of us.... they all had chinese food... but, my family had malay food instead.... just five of us... can't finish the 10 person's food... our food came earlier... so, my uncles and cousin brother came to our table to taste the food while waiting for their food.... haha... that's funny.... we finished our meal earlier.... then, my uncle asked me to get all the people's signature.... luckily i managed to get most of the signature.... i took their signature when they were waiting for their food.... can't disturb them when they were eating... not good.... haiz.... then cut cake, champaigne, and so on so on.... we finished around 4 something.... then i saw the bride vomit.... maybe because drink too much... cannot tahan... we headed back to my uncle's house.... after half an hour sitting there and chatting, we got a news from uncle wee.... he told us that his father passed away... my aunt cried... my mom cried.. and my grandma cried too... it suppose to be a happy day... but, i ended up with a bad news... it's ok.... i hope everything will be ok.... at night, we had dinner at Johnny's restraunt... me and my little brother had steamboot... it's nice... we liked it.... haha XD hope next time got a chance to eat there again... ^_^

~steamboot~