i don't understand~

hmm....

why such small things can be such a big deal when it comes to you???

don't you feel tired with all this?? don't you feel annouyed when such thing happen more than one time???

seriously, i'm very tired.... why can't you just understand??? i've been taking care of your heart for too long... i am not dare enough to hurt you.... however, people will make mistakes after all... you should understand that.... yes, maybe this is the first time you are turn your back on me... maybe before this i've done something wrong that i didn;t realized.... yes, i can accept that... but, have you ever think that i'm hurt too??? have you ever think that how much you hurt me before this??? have you ever think of what i feel all this while??? have you??? we are best friends... yes... we are.... but, why does things turned out to be like this??? why do you have to show me that stubborness??? why???

i don't mind if you want to ask about him.... i don't mind... but, please.... don't take advantage on that.... you keep on asking about him.... whole day.... it's not that you can't ask me about him... but, there's a limit for that.... i'm his sister.... i'm not his bodyguard or something.... i deserve to have some attention too.... you should know that.... you can ask... but not 24 hours ask me about him... and only him!!! you will always open the conversation by asking me whether i'm fine or not, what am i doing... but then, after that, you will just ask me what he is doing, where is he, and everything is about him!!!!! if you are on my place, imagine what will you feel???? iam obviuosly tired and annoyed at the same time... but, i just keep quite to make sure that you are not hurt... but, you never understand what i feel, what i think... NEVER!!!!

you are childish... yes... and i accepted that... but, you're childishness became worse and worse.... and that childishness had hurt me little by little.... that childishness also made me annoyed little by little... why can't you just understand me??!!!is it so hard to understand me?? is it so heart to open up your heart and say that you forgive me??? i didn't mean it... it's not what i wanted to say to you.... it's just a split of tongue... why can't you just understand?? and... it's not that i don't want to tell you that i went back.... and it's not that you are not important to me!!! why do you have to make that kind of assumption?? why???? why can;t you just understand that i love you and i care about you???? why can;t you just understand??? WHY!!!!!!!!

haiz..... i don't kmow what to say now... i'm speechless.... i'm weak... and i'm hurt.... it's not that only you are hurt you know.. i'm hurt too... please bear in your mind.... why can't you just change.... at least a bit.... be a little bit understanding.... why??? haiz.... i hope you can change... please, push that childishness aside, be a woman now.... a mature woman... that's all i ask from you... that's all... thank you~