friends? hurt??

friend.... is someone that i trust.... someone that i share my feelings with.... someone that i care about... but now.... the word 'friend' itself scares me a lot.... i don't like it.... it took a long time for me to accept someone in my life... and now... it happened again... but... it hurts me more... i'm deeply hurt... is it necessary to do it that way just because of the person?? i cannot accept it!! if you are no satisfied with what i am doing, you can just open your big mouth that are provided to you since you were born, and arrange the words and just tell me.... is it that difficult?? i don't think so... you think you can keep it for your whole life??? you think you can keep using me??? using me to fulfill the emptiness in your brain? using me to get a good grade??? you think i will let that happen?? you are totally wrong... i know i've promised my friend to treat you as usual... but... it's just impossible for me to do so... you don't understand what i felt... you seriously don't understands me at all!! with that, you still have the courage to call yourself as my BEST FRIEND?? OH!!~ PLEASE!!!~ don't act like you know everything... you don;t know a single thing about me.... that's for sure... you are way tooooo racist... and... frankly speaking, i hate racist people... i just cannot accept someone like you in my life anymore... next time when you see me, i won't treat you that friendly anymore... please... don;t ask me why... and don't ever and ever blame me for what i'm doing at the particular moment... you said that i complained a lot right?? you said that i am very annoying right?? so... from now on... i won't approach you.... i won't bother you anymore... no more... you don;t have to worry.... no worries.... i will do everything that make you happy.... as long as i do it that way, i won't get hurt anymore... now, it's not about considering other people's feeling or heart... but... it's all about my feelings and my heart... i apologize for my selfishness... but... that's what i've learnt so far... i am not able to take care of everyone's heart anymore... i realized that my hear and my feelings are way more important... thank you for teaching me such a precious lesson.